Recognizing Uptight Behavior Patterns:

Have you ever noticed that even when you’re engaging in relaxing activities you can feel tension creeping into your body? I’m sure you’re aware that if you have to tackle generalized anxiety disorder you know the amount of anxiety and tension you carry around on a daily affects how you function in this world.

I know it sounds kind of weird but I recently came to the realization that I didn’t know how to relax even when I was doing relaxing things! Even when I tried to relax by soaking in a warm bath with scented oils or just sitting in the park under a sturdy oak tree taking in the scenery, I noticed I was tense and fidgety.

Sadly I also recognized that pretty much my entire family was also this way, from my grandmother, father and cousin. I was determined however to break away from the pact and teach myself how to relax.

If you’re serious about learning to relax take notice of how your family and friends deal with anxiety. You might be surprised to observe that those close to you have nervous tendencies as well and that you might have picked up some of their uptight behavior patterns.

People that suffer anxiety and acute nervousness on a regular basis without even realizing it often carry themselves in a rigid, defensive manner. Always ready for the “fight or flight” syndrome to sweep them away into a state of panic.

Even when they are in situations that pose no immediate threat their body holds a protective stance which inhibits any state of relaxation.

While people that don’t have to deal with GAD can take for granted that being at ease in the world is a given. On the other hand, folks that live with anxiety and panic attacks understand that being comfortable is often times a luxury.

Make a Conscious Effort to Check Your Levels of Anxiety:

Throughout your day it’s important to check your body for signs of tension or discomfort. Are your shoulders held up high? Are the muscles in your face tight and taunt? Is your whole body tensing up as if it’s preparing itself for a confrontation?

I know this probably sounds simple and maybe even silly but trust me becoming aware of how your body feels is an important step in relieving some of that tension. Some of us are so use to being uncomfortable that we start to forget that it isn’t a normal way to feel.

You should start making it a priority to ask yourself throughout the day if you are feeling relaxed in your body or tense in any given situation. To really pull this off try calling out your name (silently if in public) and ask yourself how you’re feeling.

Doing this brings immediate attention to your current state. It may seem somewhat extreme but I’m sure you don’t have a problem asking a friend how they are feeling, so speak to yourself like you would with a close friend.

Address Yourself with Loving Kindness:

Your dialog might go something like this. [Your Name] “How are you feeling right now? Why don’t you take a few deep breaths and smile while you’re doing it.” You should feel less anxious for the time being, but with consistency this will eventually become second nature.

Or ask yourself, “ [Your Name] are you tense?” In this case try doing a few gentle neck rolls in each direction, gently stretching your muscles. You could even massage your neck lovingly as if you were doing this for your lover. I’m sure most of you know how to give a good neck and shoulder massage to others but have never thought of giving one to yourself.

You really have to make a conscious effort to remain self aware when you’re checking your levels of anxiety. In the long run though, it will serve you in breaking the habitual pattern of carrying your anxiety around in your body and wearing it like an outdated pair of shoes.

So again the first step in learning how to relax is being aware that you are not. This sounds so basic for those that don’t suffer from an anxiety disorder, but for those that do it really is something you have to train yourself to do.

In addition, there has been considerable research to suggest that the way a person carries themselves can actually change ones mood and mindset. So it would certainly be beneficial for a anxious person to become aware, especially on the onset, of when their body is tensing up.

Catch the Tension Early On:

If you catch it early on it is much easier to correct. The longer you carry the discomfort the greater the tension becomes and builds up in the body. Research is also letting us know that holding stress in the body for prolonged periods, even years can lead to serious health issues. Heart attacks, panic disorders and headaches to name a few.

Sometimes I can feel an annoying nervous feeling crawling up my spine. Now when this happens instead of just letting it be I try consciously to relax myself so that the uncomfortable sensations aren’t allowed to take up space in my body for long periods.

Possible Reasons Why You Can’t Seem to Relax:

1. Can’t relax around family and friends because you’re picking up on their nervous energy patterns that they’re probably not even aware of. Or worst yet, you’re trying to please everyone.

2. Being extremely self conscious when eating around people in public places. You have to keep in mind that most people aren’t even noticing you when they’re eating because they’re preoccupied with the experience of consuming their own food.

3. You might even feel guilty for relaxing, feeling as if you should be doing something more constructive. Society seems to push the concept of always being busy whether you’re comfortable or not.

10 Simple Ways to Relax:

1. Instead of racing thoughts of “what if”, have a dialog with yourself about how you are feeling at the moment.

2. Use humor by laughing at yourself before anyone else can and don’t take everything so seriously. Watch funny YouTube videos, movies and cartoons.

3. Engage in playful activities like coloring. There are lots of really cool adult coloring books on the market and many are seeing the benefits of coloring as a relaxing pastime.

4. Soak in a warm bath with scented oils. Make sure you time yourself so that you have a long enough soak without being tempted to get out in a few minutes thinking you should be getting something done.

5. Drink some chamomile tea, hot cocoa or any other non caffeinated beverage that will relax you.

6. Check your breathing periodically to determine whether you’re taking in deep breaths from your belly or shallow breaths where you’re barely breathing in any significant levels of air.

7. Take 10 minutes to sit quietly and meditate. There’s no special technique you should be using to do this, just keep it simple.

8. Do some simple stretching exercises or basic yoga poses. You can Google both of these and get some ideas of basic techniques. You don’t have to go all out with these just 1 or 2 exercises or poses throughout the day can be quite beneficial when you’re feeling tense.

9. Download a Relaxation App on your phone, preferably with a timer. There are many to choose from and some of them allow you to set the timer to remind you through out the day to relax.

10. If you’re really feeling overwhelmed with stress take a 10 minute nap. Research suggests that a short nap does wonders for the body and mind.

Since I had years of tension built up from many years of anxiety and panic attacks I had to make a serious effort to learn how to become aware of where this dis-ease was showing up in my body.

And because I didn’t have the money for a chiropractor, a masseuse, acupuncturist or any other kind of relaxation therapist, I had to learn how to get myself into a relaxed state naturally and economically.

If you do have the funds to check out some of the above methods by all means do so, but for me Doing this became yet another way to fight and control my anxiety and panic attacks.

Learning how to consciously relax is an important step in helping your body heal from the effects of constant anxiety and panic attacks as well as bringing you more peace when going through the storms of life.

I believe that you have the power to make yourself more comfortable if you’re dealing with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Certainly no one else can do it for you.

So I encourage you to seek out methods that will help you to relax so that you can more effectively work through your pain and discomfort until you are healed.